Survive The Affair

Am I Responsible For My Spouse Cheating?

Relationship ProblemsYour Cheating Spouse and Your Responsibilities

Affairs are becoming common, but the pain they bring doesn’t dwindle. It is but natural for anyone to feel devastated, confused and betrayed. In fact, the multitude of emotions running over your body can also take over the rationality of your thoughts. You might even think that because marriage is a partnership, that you are to blame for your cheating spouse actions. Stop right there. You are not to blame.

You might think that life would never return to normal once the affair goes public, but it does. It might even turn out better for you and you have some post affair responsibilities that can help you get through the difficulties.

Your Responsibilities To Your Marriage

It is in every responsible adult’s nature to want to save their marriage, especially if kids are involved. You might even feel that the reason for the affair was partly your fault. But actually, whether you’re the perfect partner or even if you drive your spouse crazy, the fact remains that cheating on you was his or her decision.

People have their own free will and rational thinking, so what an individual decides to do or not to do is solely on his or hew own shoulders. Your responsibility is only to accept that you also have faults in your marriage but not for what your spouse’s actions. You may have your own mistakes in your marriage, but that is not to be blamed for his or her mistakes. In fact, cheating only adds more problems making everything worse.

Right now, you might feel devastated. You ask yourself why he did it and even have thoughts that you were inadequate. Don’t let these thoughts run your life; you have to start rebuilding yourself so you can save your marriage. Your spouse’s infidelity not only affects you mentally and emotionally, but it can even be deleterious to your health.

So, your main responsibility is to help your self. It may seem challenging to get through this difficult phase in your life, but know that you can do it, and it will pass. Be a little selfish for now and work on all those thoughts and feelings of self-doubt and self-pity, and love yourself once more. Build up your self esteem and self respect and know that the affair wasn’t your fault.
It’s time to put yourself as your topmost priority.

Your Responsibilities Post-Affair

In order for you to start loving and respecting yourself, you have three key responsibilities: assume responsibility, accept reality, and satisfy yourself. Once you have mastered these responsibilities, regaining self-worth is easy.

Assuming Responsibility

Life is what you make it and happiness is a choice. Remember that this is your life, and you are responsible for it. Your aspirations, dreams and desires are still within your reach and you have the capacity to reach them. No one, not even a cheating spouse can ever take away your self worth and dignity from you.

It’s alright to wish that the affair didn’t happen and that it has affected you in ways you’d never expect; however, they’re all in the past. Nothing and no one can change what has been done. What’s more important is to live in the present and move forward towards a better future. What you decide to do about your life is your first key responsibility.

Accepting Reality

Now that you have assumed responsibility for your life, you have to accept that not everything is in your control. Do not be too hard on yourself and do not belittle your emotions. It is only natural to feel those complex feelings and difficult thoughts.

Our emotions do not make us weak, they only make us humans. So do not be hard on yourself, your key responsibility is to accept the reality of your situation. No matter how bleak and challenging it is, you have to work through your emotions, the pains and the nightmares. It is a normal process you have to go through so you can express responsibility for your life and deal with these harsh realities

Satisfy Yourself

Give yourself a break, you deserve it. In fact, you are also responsible for satisfying yourself. It’s not selfish to aspire for satisfying one’s needs. Do things that fulfill you emotionally and spiritually, things that make you fell alive once more. You may have forgotten to have fun as a couple even before the affair and could be a major problem in your marriage too. Remember any individual has their own needs too.

You have yours, your partner has his or hers and as a couple you also have needs. Think about those needs and take time to satisfy them, and start with satisfying yourself. Once you are happy and have rebuilt yourself, then you can start on your marriage.

Remember that the affair is not your fault; your spouse chose to do it so it’s all on his or her shoulder. In the same manner, know that what you do with your life after the affair, is also solely on you.

Take charge of your life and love yourself once more. In time, you’ll rekindle the magic within and even discover amazing things about yourself you never knew about. It may be difficult for you right now, but if you allow yourself and choose to be happy, you can still find inner peace and joy.

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