If your spouse cheated on you and the very foundations of your marriage has been rocked; you will wonder how you will get over the infidelity and fall in love again with your spouse. Perhaps you have already worked on other aspects of saving your marriage – the denial, the whirlwind of emotions, negative thoughts and doubts, and have reestablished the foundations, but you still wonder on how to rekindle that spark in your relationship. Let’s look at the three ingredients that you and your spouse can work on to find love in each other again.
Moving Forward towards Love
When a spouse has an affair, it triggers tremendous negativity into the marriage. If your spouse cheated on you, you feel that you will never be able to move past the affair, and if you were when the one who cheated, then you probably feel you that you’ll never be forgiven. However, if both partners are working on their marriage despite the hardships and explosive emotions, then it’s safe to say that they still have feelings of love for each other. Sometimes even an affair can’t break the bonds of true love.
Even the strongest of marriages have problems, its part of life. Whether an affair is involved or not, there are points in a marriage that one or both spouses may feel that they have fallen out of love, but if the two of you genuinely want to rekindle that love and desire for each other, it’s even possible to make your marriage stronger than ever before. There are many marriages that have survived the worst of problems, even affairs and end up with deeper love for each other. All the weak areas in your relationship are addressed when you try to rebuild your marriage and as you address them, you can build a stronger foundation.
Ingredients Needed for Falling Back into Love
Everything seems to change in a marriage after an affair and falling in love again will take time and practice. Both of you will have to commit towards saving your marriage. Three key ingredients you will need to work on are transparency, conflict resolution and communication.
Transparency
Rebuilding trust is important in working out your marriage and it can be difficult. However, by committing to transparency, trust is possible. You have to share what’s going on with your life, who you’re seeing and along with other details that your spouse wants or needs to know. You have to be honest too, and continue on this habit of sharing in order to regain your spouse’s trust and security in your relationship.
Conflict Resolution
You need to look into more effective and meaningful ways of resolving conflict within your marriage especially, if you usually end disagreements with silent treatments or violent arguments. Collaborative conflict resolution is a habit that the two of you must form. It’s natural for people to disagree, so the two of you need to create a caring and understanding atmosphere of openness, you can rebuild and strengthen your marriage. You have to be open to each other’s opinions. Respect and appreciate them even if you don’t see eye to eye.
Communication
The inability to communicate effectively to each other may be the root of your marriage issues. This could mean that either one or both of you do not know how to listen or cannot express yourself to your partner. True, honest and open conversation needs to take place.
Falling back in love with your spouse requires you to effectively communicate with your partner. You need to identify and work on communication gaps, touchy subjects and other communication problems in your relationship. You have to form habit of true and meaningful conversation and improve on your communication skills so that you and your spouse can be intimate again.
I had the affair BUT I am trying my hardest to fall back in love with my husband who has NEVER waivered on his love for me. How long do I give this? I don’t want our marriage to end.