Survive The Affair

How Do I Get Rid of the Negative Images After an Affair?

Negative Images Of AffairWhat images are playing in your head today? Are they the same images you saw yesterday, and do you really want to experience them again tomorrow?

These obsessive post-affair images that are haunting you are very common to experience. As a victim of an affair, it is completely normal to have these images of your spouse and the other person playing through your head repeatedly. Unfortunately, it can be enough to drive you completely crazy, because it forces you to think about the affair constantly.

What makes these images obsessive is that they start to have a grip on you that you cannot seem to release. This article will discuss the best way to get rid of these negative images and stop obsessing over them. There are three steps you can follow to help guide you as you let go of the obsession.

Filling in The Blanks With Fantasy

Even if you do not have specific information about the affair, it does not really matter because you have filled in the blanks on your own. This is completely fantasy and you know this on some level, but it still plays in your mind repeatedly and starts to seem more and more real.

The fantasy you have created can be a wide range of events. It may be your spouse in an intimate setting with his or her lover. Maybe your spouse is gazing lovingly at him or her. You may be imagining your spouse’s lover having a perfect body. You might see your spouse sharing a meal with his or her lover looking happy and laughing together.

Once you start imagining these scenes, it can be hard to get them out of your head. Maybe seeing them repeatedly is helping your figure everything out. Maybe you think something in these images will make everything make sense. It could explain why your spouse cheated, or what made the other person so appealing.

While you are obsessing over these images, you are also wondering why you cannot stop the images. You may be drawn to the images in one way, but on the other hand, they are damaging your self-esteem and causing you a lot of grief. The images are taking a toll on you emotionally in a serious way. Most of all, these images have made you feel powerless and have begun to completely take a hold of your mind.

Take a Creative License With The Negative Images

You can already see how powerful the mind is. Your mind is what has created these negative images in the first place. But it is important to realize that the mind can also manipulate these images and change them.

You can decide whether you want to let these images play out in your mind, or whether you want to close down the theater. The images can only have power over you if you believe that they are real. But you know that you created these images in the first place, so you can change them and replace them with new images.

The best thing you can possibly do to get rid of the negative images after an affair is to manipulate the images. Here are the three steps that will help you do this:

Step 1: Set a Time For the Next Screening

As of now, the negative images are haunting you and popping into your head all the time. You can take control back and decide when you want to see these images. Make a point to affirm to yourself that you will only see these images at a specific time that you set.

Step 2: Have a Private Screening

Now that you have decided when to see the negative images, find a place where you can sit by yourself and not be interrupted. Relax and let the images come into your mind. This is the private screening.

Step 3: Switch the Script

You are the director of this movie, and you can edit it as you want. You can play it in color or black and white, play it forwards or backwards, etc. You can decide to have the actors wear whatever you want. You can put masks on them or silly outfits that will make you laugh.

The idea is to take back the control and feel powerful again. These images do not need to have power over you anymore. Prove that these images are all just a product of your imagination. Once you manipulate the images, you will feel that they start to lose the power they had before.

This process will take time, but keep following these steps until you have gotten rid of the negative images for good.

Please leave a comment and share your thoughts and experiences with getting rid of negative images after an affair.

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  1. As the one who had the affair, how can i help my partner to overcome these images he has? We want to try and make things work, but he is crippled by these thoughts and images and certainly wouldn’t take my advice and give something like this a try. Is there any ‘subtle’ way in which i can get him to try this out?

  2. This is great advice for the images, I just imagined putting costumes on the cheaters and I started laughing what a joke!!! get the power back control that powerful mind if not it will control you

  3. Miquel Rogers says:

    Another aspect is adding violence to the images.

    This worked for me.

  4. ALISIA MONTAY says:

    i feel if the cheater tell the truth you wouldn’t have to go through any of this bull crap you were bold enough to have an affair be honest enough to tell the truth i think thia is a bunch of bull crap i want the truth r.r you sneaky low down ass bastard

    • Same her it’s not been mad it’s having respect for whom you say you love..and as far as it was an accident bull so for me never tick for tat I’ll just go about my business cause when I gave you what you wanted and needed evidently it really wasn’t from me that you truly wanted it from !! I’ll take no fault in what lead you in your walking life to do ,that’s ALL YOU !!! Trust is earned not taken for granted after the fact..

  5. He cheated, but i should create fantacies to help ,to getbover it? No, he should be doing whatever he can to explain. Why it happened, and convince me that it will me er happen again. …. Bad advice!

  6. My husbands exmistress emailed a sexually explicit image of her and my husband to me. How do I get THAT out of my head?

  7. Chantell says:

    I’ve been going to therapy to get these intrusive thoughts out of my head. My situation is different because my husband didn’t have an affair, I was the one that was considering the affair. BUT don’t stop reading I have some hard won helpful advice for anyone who is struggling with intrusive thoughts. I don’t think it matters which side of the affair you fall onto.

    1. If the thoughts are keeping you awake at night and you find yourself tuning out the world around you to dwell on your thoughts. You need to stop! If those thoughts go unchecked for too long it is like you are digging a hole for yourself. I know it’s not easy.
    2. The images in your mind can be altered and you can start filling that giant hole back in! I imagined the horror of what would happen when he was done with me. Him heading for the door and me lying on the bed spiritually dead, and wishing I could die physically. My therapist told me to draw a picture painting the situation as ugly as possible.
    3. I got a prescription for sleeping pills because that way I could at least not think about it at night. Then during the day I would visualized a stop sign every time I started to think of him. I imagined that I was driving down the freeway heading somewhere good, and every time I started to think of him I would imagine that I had just accidentally exited the freeway and I needed to hurry and get back on.
    4. I would distract myself with learning and perusing new interests, prayer is also very helpful. Just don’t let yourself fall back down that rabbit whole again!
    So the bottom line is maybe you could imagine and draw the reality of the situation. The people that hurt you are both spiritually dead inside. The thing they did was ugly and dishonorable. There was nothing good about it! Imagine that they are as ugly on the outside as they are on the inside, and then feel sorry for them, and feel grateful that your spirit shines bright. Don’t hate anyone, just see it for what it is, total and complete immaturity. You are beautiful inside and out. I hope that was helpful.

  8. As one of the responses stated, the lies that keep locked into this vicious cycle of trying to figure out what really happened. You can never get closure if your spouse holds back. After all, the lies were part of the deceit during the affair. More lies about how many times they hooked up or seriousness of the affair only make it worse building trust.

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