Your relationship has probably just been shattered into thousands of pieces by infidelity. When it happened, who with, how etc, will be the many questions you will be asking.

Your mind will be very fragmented and the effects of such fragmentation will be very painful indeed. When the mind is unified and our energy is focused then we naturally feel better.

It’s true, that in the early stages of discovering the infidelity, you may find it very difficult to meditate. You may find that it’s easier to just listen to our hypnotherapy recording.

However, as the intital shock of the infidelity eases down, you will be able to practice some meditation. If you’ve never tried meditation before there are some guidelines below that will show you exactly how. Relationships can be extraordinarily complex at such times as these, and the simplicity of meditation can be tremendously beneficial to you.

The two meditation practices laid out below, have been used for centuries by Buddhists. They are: The Mindfulness of Breathing, and The Metta Bhavna.

Aim for at least twenty minutes to begin with, and increase that over time.

Meditation No.1. The Mindfulness of Breathing

You can sit on the floor in the lotus position if you like, or sit on a chair with a straight back. There are meditation stools that you can buy, or you could use meditation cushions. Whatever you choose, make yourself comfortable. Some people choose to wrap a blanket around them (lower body) because your temperature will drop as the heart rate slows.

1. Begin by closing your eyes and get each part of your body to relax. You can start with your head, and slowly work your way down to your toes.
2. As you breathe in and breathe out, follow the breath all the way as it moves through your body. After a cycle of a breath in and breath out, count 1 silently to yourself.
3. After the next cycle count 2, then 3, all the way up to 10, and then begin from 1 again.
4. If you get lost that’s ok. Just start from 1 again.

After approximately 5 minutes you reverse the procedure.

1. You begin by counting 1 then breathe in and breathe out. Then you count 2 and breathe in and breathe out. Same as before you will count up to 10.
2. After another 5 minutes you can stop counting and just watch the breath moving all the way through your body.
3. After another 5 minutes focus on the breath entering and exiting the nostril. Keep focused on just the edge of your nostril.
4. After another 5 minutes you can slowly open your eyes. Obviously, don’t jump up and start running around everywhere as soon as you’ve finished. Give yourself a few minutes to adjust and acclimatise back to normal.

You may well find this second meditation quite hard to do under your present circumstances. Infidelity relationships bring immense challenges for you to overcome. However, this particular meditation may help you find your heart again, and it may well reduce the levels of your anger. Too, although it may not feel like it at the time, it will help to develop kindness toward yourself.

Meditation No.2 Metta Bhavna – (Meditation of loving kindness)

Begin by using the same procedures as above. E.g. position yourself comfortably, close your eyes, and relax all your body parts.

1. Then say to your self ‘May I be happy, may I be well’.You can change this to whatever you like as long as the meaning is roughly the same. E.g. ‘May I be content and joyful’. Or ‘May I be fulfilled and calm’.
2. After approximately five minutes, change your thoughts to kindness for a friend. Ideally it should be someone that you have no romantic attachment to. This applies to every stage of this meditation.
3. Now you can say ‘May (your friends name here) be happy and well’. Or ‘May (your friends name here) be content and joyful’.
4. After approximately five minutes change your thoughts toward someone you don’t know very well. It might be a shopkeeper or someone that you see on the street regularly. Use the same/similar phrases as above. E.g. ‘May they be happy and well’.
5. After another five minutes shift you thoughts toward someone you don’t like. It could be someone that you even consider an enemy. Use the same procedures as above. E.g. ‘May ‘whoever’ be happy and well’.

In the next phase you should imagine all the people you have been thinking of and bring them all together. Feel the same level of kindness towards each of them.

Then think of all the people who live close to you and include them. ‘May they be happy to’. Extend your thoughts of loving kindness toward everyone who lives in your town and/or city, then your entire country, then other countries.

Extend these feelings towards animals and insects and in fact everything that has a life force. Beyond this you may like to consider beings that live on other planets (in view of how big the universe is, most scientists think it is virtually certain there is life elsewhere). May all life in the universe be happy and well.

Once again, when you open your eyes, take your time to adjust to your environment.