At times like these you will need much support from your friends and family. Such support will be essential to help you get over infidelity. Of course, the time will come when you just have to support yourself.

One of the greatest means of giving to yourself is to be grateful. Yes, yes, I know you might not feel grateful for anything right now, but you must dig deep and find some things you are grateful for, because gratitude is essential to our well-being.

As you cultivate gratitude you will experience life with some feelings of love, and of caring. This will in turn help you heal some of the pains of infidelity.

Even at such times of immense pain you might like to reflect on the fact that you have friends and family that are supporting you. Are you grateful for this support?

In another section of this website, we have discussed the merits of doing some walking. If you haven’t started doing some walking, then now is the time to start.

As you go for you daily walk, say some gratitude affirmations quietly, but aloud, to yourself. Say things like:

• I am grateful for this very day.
• I am grateful for my health
• I am grateful for my family.
• I am grateful for my friends.

Dig for the things that you are grateful for, and affirm them.

Some days it may be hard, you may not feel grateful for anything, but once you start, it will build. Even if you don’t feel the things you are grateful for, just keep making those affirmations anyway.

The Language Of Choice For Infidelity Support

Choose what you say to yourself with great care. Your unconscious mind is always listening and ready to obey. If it hears ‘I’m a born loser it will set about making you one.

Conversely, confident people use massively empowering dialogue to move them along. Let’s take a look at two different sentences to demonstrate the point:

‘I’m really looking forward to giving the best man’s speech; I know nearly all the guests and it will be a real pleasure to spend that time with them’.

And

‘I’m absolutely terrified about the best man’s speech; I know nearly everyone and if I make a mistake they’ll be taunting me about it for years’.

What I find interesting is that I don’t have to tell you which is the more resourceful language. You already know. But despite the obviously debilitating nature of the second sentence, that’s what most of us choose.

We’re already in the process of changing that. So let’s take a closer look and bring about yet more resourceful language that will genuinely alter the way we think and feel about ourselves.

Throughout the next few days I would like you to observe some of the things that you say to yourself. In particular, the stuff that isn’t encouraging or helpful. As you hear some of the disparaging comments, I would like you to completely turn them around.

So, if you hear ‘I’ll never get over this infidelity’. I would like you to change it to ‘I will get over this infidelity, and I will be stronger on the other side.’

If you hear ‘I’m useless at that kind of stuff’. Turn it into ‘I’m brilliant at that kind of stuff’.

If you hear ‘I hate exercise’. Change it to ‘I love exercise’.

You’ll be amazed at how quickly you can turn this stuff around. In as little as a week you will notice your mind and body working in more harmony. You see, as the internal dialogue improves, the external physiology does too. And that is hugely important in how others perceive you.

A study in the 1970’s revealed that physiology accounted for 55% of communication, next came tonality at 38%, and finally, words at 5%.

The next time you look at someone who you perceive as confident, look at their body language and see if you can adopt some of it. I’ve noticed that confident people seldom seem hurried or unduly stressed. There’s a relaxed appearance to their entire physiology, and yet they’re alert at the same time.

For those of you who are aware of Richard Branson, you could do a lot worse than to study his body language. For someone running a billion-pound empire he often looks as though he’s running a corner shop. What kind of dialogue does Richard Branson use to speak to himself? When he launched Virgin Airlines do you think he was saying things to himself like ‘You could lose your shirt on this one, Richard’. No, it’s very unlikely that Mr. Branson ever heard that kind of language in his life. And that’s largely down to the programmes that he’s running unconsciously.